


most dear

by Checro



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 03:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2094843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Checro/pseuds/Checro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course she loves Sarah, how could she not love Sarah? Who could exist in a world with Sarah and not love her with everything they have?</p>
<p>--<br/>a quick one-shot about love</p>
            </blockquote>





	most dear

Someone once told Helena that love is peculiar.

(Or she thinks someone told her, maybe she read it somewhere, or heard someone say it to someone else.)

(The point is, Helena knows how mysterious love is, she learnt that _somewhere.)_

Love is light as a feather, and the word can slip out with ease, weightless. It's _meaning_ that weighs it down and when that happens, words like "I love you" stick in the throat.

For years it was something Helena never understood.

It was also not something she had time to dwell upon. She had a mission, after all. A mission from God. Love and its many mysteries weren't her _concern_.

_I understand now,_ she thinks.

And she did. Of course she did, she _understood_. Without knowing it, without realizing it, without even noticing it was happening, love happened. It happened to Helena. It happened to Helena before she had a moment to react and, yes, of _course_ she loves Sarah, how could she not love Sarah? Who could exist in a world with Sarah and not _love_ her with everything they have?

Certainly not Helena. Not so long as she shares that connection with Sarah (and maybe even if she didn't, maybe maybe _maybe)._ Sarah is _family_ and Helena loves her for it, loves her for it and for everything else as well.

And because Helena loves Sarah, that love colours everything she does. Love for her sister, heavy in her heart. The words stick to her lips, precious and fragile and careful not to fall, until Sarah comes along and pulls them out. Every touch, every smile, it's coloured in the way only love can. She has, since she first saw Sarah (back before she knew her as Sarah, back when she was not-Beth) that she wanted to be close to her. Now she wants to be closer, closer, closer.

People think Helena is scary, or odd, or worrisome. They did, do, always have, might never stop. Even people who _shouldn't_. Maggie used to tense up when she spoke. Gracie deemed her unnatural from the start. And Sarah... Sarah used to _fear_ her.

(Not without reason. But fear is fear is fear and to be looked at the way Sarah used to look at her, well...)

(It was enough to make her feel very fragile. As if Sarah's fear could shatter her.)

Helena can't afford to be fragile, though.

Helena reaches out, and the world shatters. She is the hand of God. It cannot be her that falls apart. It cannot be her be her that crumbles to shards.

That's how it was, anyway, that's how it had to be.

But maybe not how it has to be. Because love can make a person many things. Love can make it safe to be fragile. And if there's one thing that Helena has learnt (since finding Sarah, since being with Sarah, since she started understanding Sarah), it's love.


End file.
